Episodes
Friday May 05, 2023
”Daughter’s Sexy” (parody based off Green Day’s song ”Murder City”)
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“Daughter’s Sexy”
Incestuous and grossness
He can’t stop saying, “Look, my daughter’s sexy”
Incestuous and nauseous
“A 10; hotter than yours; my daughter’s sexy”
He’ll make the comment on a talk show
“I’d hit that if she weren’t my daughter”
Everyone and their moms start to cringe
Then whisper, “What the f*ck is wrong with him?!?”
He’s the leader of the Greedy Old Perverts
Incestuous and grossness
He can’t stop saying, “Look, my daughter’s sexy”
Incestuous and nauseous
“A 10; hotter than yours; my daughter’s sexy”
It’s one thing to say your kid’s cute
Calling them “hot” is kinda stretching it
Like a Donald J. Trump in spandex
Yet little Donnie has no regrets
He’s the leader of the Greedy Old Perverts
Incestuous and grossness
He can’t stop saying, “Look, my daughter’s sexy”
Incestuous and nauseous
“A 10; hotter than yours; my daughter’s sexy”
Incestuous and grossness
He can’t stop saying, “Look, my daughter’s sexy”
Incestuous and nauseous
“A 10; hotter than yours; my…”
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“Harassing All Women and Girls”
She’d rather suffer a migraine, gout, and kidney stones than shake his hand
She’d rather get a full-face tattoo of a$$ than smell his stench
She’d rather recreate “Titanic” sinking than hear him scream her name
They want nothing to do with him; he’s harassing all women and girls
She’d rather skydive without a parachute than feel his lips on hers
She’d rather always hallucinate than see his tiny mushroom
She’d rather be waterboarded than hear the torture of his words
She’d rather serve a life-sentence than spend just one second with him
He’s a third-world, sh*t-hole country, only in semi-human form
They want nothing to do with him; he’s harassing all women and girls
She’d rather die a virgin than be within six-feet of his “wherever”
She’d rather have hair like Fester than feel what’s on his head
She’d rather spin in F-5 tornadoes than for him to twirl her
She’d rather forever sleep than find him in her bed
He’s a sh*t-hole country, only in semi-human form
They want nothing to do with him; he’s still harassing all women and girls
She’d rather suffer a migraine, gout, and kidney stones than shake his hand
She’d rather get a full-face tattoo of a$$ than smell his stench
She’d rather spin in F-5 tornadoes than for him to twirl her
They want nothing to do with him; he’s still harassing all women and girls
Ooh, burn
Mic drop
Ooh, burn
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
”Pisstaker” (parody based off Green Day’s song ”Peacemaker”)
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“Pisstaker”
Not one, but six!
So, my name is Donnie; I’ve got no money; owned by the Russian mob
Together do some “laundry,” or they’ll clean me out (Oh, no-no)
So, I call my Vlady; I’m on hold, hold, hold, hold, hold
After five hours, he says, “Why don’t you just leave us alone?”
So, I wear a bracelet, as a reminder; asks “What Would Vlady Do?”
If my Cabinet protests it, I say “You are screwed!” (Oh, yeah-yeah)
So, I call a guy, who says, “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait”
“I know what he did in the summer of sixty-eight”
Showers, the golden showers
There are powers with the tapes
Pee on my a$$ and face
So, whatever Vlady says, I trust and obey
So, his name is Donnie; he’s lost some money; is owned by the mob
He’s on a choke-collar, so they don’t bark (Ruff, ruff, ruff)
So, he’s always their b*tch, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf, arf
If they say to, he’ll lick his balls if one is left
So, he has no control, but wants to act like he’s really strong
Even though his muscles look like nothing more than fluff (fluff, fluff, fluff)
So, I’m a pisstaker, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Little Donnie, take it away again for the chorus
Showers, the golden showers
There are powers with the tapes
Pee on my a$$ and face
So, whatever Vlady says, I trust and obey
So, now I’m tired of doing the mob favors
Being the butt of “showers” jokes by pisstakers
Sh*t, I’ve got a call from someone named Popovsky (“Ha, ha, ha”)
“You better not take off, for we hold your golden fate”
“We know what he did in the summer of sixty-eight”
“We know what he did in the summer of sixty-eight”
“We know what he did in the summer of sixty-eight”
“We know what he did in the summer of sixty-eight”
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“He’s Jesus Nowhere”
Lesu anchiteze
Ese es quien es
“Trump Jesus was arrested by the Roman government”
(…yllaer ton tuB) …eH ma I dnA
They chant his name when he arrives
Give him all the money they don’t have
Thinking that will help them to survive
Though he doesn’t care that they’re alive
(Pay up!) For all his suits
(Pray now!) That he hears you
(Pay up!) So he can win
(Pray now!) The world will end
The guy thinks all the poor are weak
That they all smell like fruit and veggies
Loves no one but his stinky self
He even hates children and elves
The church goes in flames
When he decides to step in it
The Bible doesn’t say
Lard Cheeto F*ckstick is the savior
He says what the deaf want to hear
“Race don’t exist; whites are superior”
He’ll brag he’s a self-made man, raking in billions by himself
Gone bankrupt six times; asked for daddy’s help
He breaks every Commandment daily
He’d f*ck his own family
Would steal from a children’s charity
He’d even say “Jesus Christ is me!”
The church goes in flames
When he decides to step in it
The Bible doesn’t say
Lard Cheeto F*ckstick is the savior
“I am He”
But not really
“He is me”
If “he” is Judas
He rebels against what’s good and right
Boobs and dollars always cloud his mind
The “Rule” – the only thing not Golden
Do unto others as would Satan
The church goes in flames
When he decides to step in it
The Bible doesn’t say
Lard F*ckstick is the savior
‘Men!
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
”Stormy At Birth” (parody based off Green Day’s song ”Last Night on Earth”)
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“Stormy At Birth”
Melanie’s at home with their son
So, where’s he gone?
Getting milk, food at the store?
No, he met a porn star instead
In a bed
Husband, father of the year
He whips out his mini-mushroom
Then saying, “I was in the pool”
Pretending he was cool
He was finished before they started
Saying “Sign this and tell no one”
Life changed after his baby’s birth
Storm alert
One-thirty K to shut her up
This could hurt his chances of…with
Who’s the b*tch?
Melanie or Melanoma?
He whips out his mini-mushroom
Then saying, “I was in the pool”
Pretending he was cool
He was finished before they started
Saying “Sign this and tell no one”
He whips out his mini-mushroom
Then saying, “I was in the pool”
Pretending he was cool
He was finished before they started
Oh, God, yes, he is so screwed
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
”Donnie’s a Zero” (parody based off Green Day’s song ”Christian’s Inferno”)
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“Donnie’s a Zero”
He thinks he is seeing green, but is in the red
Dealt a winning hand, but still having to fold, as he turned casinos into sh*t
Vodka and steaks rarely miss, yet he couldn’t make a dime
The world’s greatest businessman, only if all others died
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
A big rat on his head he bought at the Dollar Store
He’s got the physique of a Chris Farley of Chippendales, only much less agile
With the complexion of a Cheeto that’s been worn
Hands so small, they were rejected by a circus-porn
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Hey-ho, Donnie’s a zero
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“Withholding the Bribery”
Speaking, he was only speaking
“I’ll give you that if you give me this,” no quid pro quo
Dealing, he is always dealing
“Four-hundred million for Biden’s dental records”
Reeling, his story is reeling
Like the Pinocchio-who-cried-wolf on steroids
Covers, he’s running for covers
But the bed he made he will now have to lie in
(Oh, boo-hoo)
He’s withholding the bribery
One even the blind can see
Guilty of fraud and conspiracy
Obstruction and being a pu$$y
He never thought he would be caught
He thought everything could be bought
Forgot technology exists
Thought TikTok was a clock for kids
Impeached for his crimes on two counts (Lock!)
Then acquitted by soul sell-outs (Him!)
He must have some dirt on them (Up!)
Lady G’s blow-up doll named Gym
Morals not a part of his life
He’d rather die than say he lied
About to face his comeuppance
“Mother’s disappointed,” says Mike Pence
A criminal (Lock)
He is a criminal (Him)
A criminal (Up)
He is a criminal (Now)
Each accusation is a confession
When he threatens, he says “I was…”
Speaking, he was only speaking
“I’ll give you that if you give me this,” no quid pro quo
Dealing, he is always dealing
“Four-hundred million for Biden’s dental records”
Reeling, his story is reeling
Like the Pinocchio-who-cried-wolf on steroids
Covers, he’s running for covers
But the bed he made he will now have to lie in
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“¡Amar Old Glory Hole!”
Oh, glory hole, you’re a fantasy of his mind
What could be on the other side?
A porn star ready to spank him with his face?
His personal “doctor” saying, “Here’s something you can sniff”?
Unfortunately no, neither of those were the case
They’d be much too clean for his sick and demented tastes
Oh, glory hole, what he wants will never breathe
He’s grabbed it joyfully, while saying it makes us free
Glory hole, amar Old Glory hole
The stars and stripes he claims to always salute
Dodging drafts and attacking Golden Star families
There’s not a single brave bone in him
Glory hole, don’t worry, glory hole
Old Glory placed a restraining order against him
The judge said, “What the f*ck?!?,” but then, “I’ll allow it”
“I’m getting too old for this sh*t”
He started singing our banner (Glory hole!)
But remembered none of the words
“Jose built some rockets over there” (Glory hole!)
“Do the wave, watch ‘Twilight,’ and burst”
Standing tall, wearing a MAGA hat
Glory hole, don’t worry, glory hole
Old Glory will never embrace his filth
It’d rather be burned in a necessary protest
Than feel his puny hands on it
Glory hole, amar Old Glory hole
He f*cks the country over to keep from getting screwed
Whines that he’s the victim when he’s really the culprit
Such a man-baby, he is
So, glory hole, there’s no need to worry
He’ll be embraced by bars in time
Glory hole, yes, he’ll try to scurry
But will never outrun our stars and stripes
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
”No More Honesty” (parody based off Green Day’s song ”Know Your Enemy”)
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“No More Honesty”
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
His mouth is an enemy to our democracy
His nasty-a$$ mouth is an enemy
Stick him in an infirmary, record-quickly
Mask him, stop the spread of his malarkey (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
He’ll say he’s not guilty, ask trailer parks for money
They’ll then sell Junior some Motel-6 blow (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
Poor little Donnie, forced to take responsibility
Karma is a b*tch and she wants some more (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
Only a matter of time
Til he’s punished for his crimes
Til he cries in the night and tissue stocks rise
Chant “LOCK HIM UP!”
Chant “LOCK HIM UP!”
Truth: His mouth is an enemy (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
So deplorable and nasty (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
Truth: His mouth is an enemy (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
Poor little Donnie, that b*tch Karma wants some bigly retribution
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
Y’all want no more honesty? Y’all get no more honesty
Just a growing nose when he speaks - honestly
(Y’all want no more honesty?)
He’ll say he’s not guilty, ask trailer parks for money
(Just a growing nose – honestly)
They’ll then sell Junior some Motel-6 blow (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
(Y’all get no more honesty)
Poor lil Donnie, forced to take responsibility
(Just a growing nose – honestly)
Karma is a b*tch and she wants some more (chant “LOCK HIM UP!”)
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube
Friday May 05, 2023
Friday May 05, 2023
“34 Felony Crackdown”
[Part I]
Whoo, whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo
Born in a mansion, the son of a king
His shadow was opportunity
All the failures were greeted with a shrug
No consequences for all his f*ck-ups
The three-millionth time was no charm
The truth hatched, he’s more screwed than a chick at a farm
34 felony crackdown
There’s no misdemeanors to be found
His life of crime finally has a price
A rat behind bars, afraid of the mice
Whoo, whoo-whoo, whoo-whoo
His vests were always legal-proof
His Pampers, rat-hair, and clip-on ties too
Thought he’d get away with everything
Then he got smacked on the a$$ by Stormy
The three-millionth time was no charm
The truth hatched, he’s more screwed than a chick at a farm
34 felony crackdown
There’s no misdemeanors to be found
His life of crime finally has a price
A rat behind bars, afraid of the mice
[Part 2]
We are his, we are his loyal dumb sheep
Do all he says, still believe we are free
If he says “Inject Tide!” to clean our clothes
We’ll get naked and ask, “Where is the needle?!?”
The mob is where I felt I belonged
Took “Goodfellas” lit’rally
So I proudly joined the dotards and dons
Where I questioned authority
Where I never questioned authority (No!)
What they say will always go
Unless a whacking is on your bucket list
Then, by all means, just say NO!
No!
No!
No!
I don’t want to die, so I’ll trust and obey
Nod, smile, nod, smile, nod, smile, repeat
Hopefully my neck and face don’t hurt again
So many times I can say cheese
But for freedom that’s a minor price to pay (Shh!)
Sacrifice life to look creepy
Made to believe I’m free in mind, heart, and soul
No thoughts, feelings inside me
I know I am right
Everyone else is wrong
For the truth is on my side
On Opposite Day
[Part III]
Baa, sheep, in unison, baa, sheep
Making loud noises, all volume, no substance
Blah, sheep, in unison, blah, sheep
You’re the “Dumbfellas”: The dotards and dons
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki/
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
YouTube