Episodes
Wednesday Sep 30, 2020
Wednesday Sep 30, 2020
“If I lost $1,000,000,000” (to the tune of the Barenaked Ladies’ “If I Had a $1,000,000”)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd be a genius (I would be a genius)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd brilliantly talk of my genius (maybe at a KKK rally like normal)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd smile very bigly (or is that big league? I'm not quite sure)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 I'd blame Biden
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I'd ask daddy for billions more
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I'd go to the million dollar store
If I lost $1,000,000,000
Maybe I could run for president, be a total asshole
[Not like a – you know – a real asshole. I mean, some say I stink, but they don’t know their ass from their butt. I do. I know more about butts than dentists. Yeah. That’s why I don’t go to dentists. I don’t want a colonoscopy. Butt cavities suck. Truth.]
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd provide a half smirk (the ugly one you see in memes)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd shrug like it was nothing much (a full shrug, nothing half-assed)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd release all my tax returns (you know I'm kidding, right? Losers!)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 I'd blame Biden
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I’d laugh like there was no tomorrow
If I lost $1,000,000,000
Could drop cash 'til I lost a billion more
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I would still be such a yuge asshole
(Again, it’s not literal. The literal media. Who needs literal media anyway? Literal people? No such thing. They’re a hoax.)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd marry wife 4 (not one who steals from O’Bummer)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd start writing songs (like a dog named Ignoramus)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
I'd stop paying taxes (I was never paying them anyway)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 I'd blame Biden
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
If I lost $1,000,000,000 (If I lost $1,000,000,000)
If I lost $1,000,000,000
I'd be Trump.
Books
https://www.amazon.com/Craig-Rozniecki/e/B00JBQ95LO
Blog
https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
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